Declutter your mind Book Summary In English
Declutter Your Mind: How to Stop Worrying, Relieve Anxiety, and Eliminate Negative Thinking
Book by Barrie Davenport and S. J. Scott
Introduction
Today we will talk about a book, "Declutter your mind", written by Barrie Davenport and S.J. Scott.Barrie is a founder of award-winning personal development site Live Bold and Bloom, a certified personal coach, and an online course creator.And based on positive habits, life passion, confidence building, mindfulness, and simplicity, many self improvement books' author.Scott is a best selling author of wall street journal, having more than 30 books published on self improvement and translated in 12 different languages.His books give daily action plans, that can be implemented immediately.His books are based on health, fitness, work, and personal relationship.Declutter your mind will teach you habits, actions, and mindset, that will help you clean your mind, get your focus back.Let's find out how to have a simple, calm mental life, and how to get back that time and emotional energy that we have wasted in over thinking and worrying.Have you ever struggled with stress and anxiety?Or just want to stop worrying about your life?If your answer is yes for any of these questions, then this book and summary is for you only.This book is divided in 4 different parts, that cover all parts of our lives, which talks on how to declutter our minds.Means, how we can remove unwanted things from our minds.Like decluttering your thoughts, life obligations, relationships, and surroundings.So let's understand about these one by one.
1. Decluttering your thoughts.
Thoughts tell our reality, and impact our mental state.Although, having many thoughts can clutter our minds.We especially get influenced by our negative thoughts, because when we slap them down, they keep coming back.To take care of your thoughts, keep away from negative thoughts and to declutter your mind, we will have to work on our mindfulness.Focused deep breathing.When we feel overwhelmed or stressed, we have to breath rapidly and we feel lack of breathing.Breathing slowly and in a rhythm can help us get back the control on our mind.Meditation.Most of the meditation practices start with sitting calmly, focusing on your breathing, and ignoring any kind of distraction.Thin increases productivity, improves focus, reduces stress and strengthens mind.Start with meditation practice of 10 minutes a day.Meditation is a way to enter into the quiet that is already in your mind, buried under those 50,000 thoughts that a common person has in a day.
Reframe all negative thoughts.Critical thinking enables us to solve the problem faster and efficiently.Creative thinking makes original, diverse, and elaborate ideas, but often unwanted negative thinking clutters our mind and drains our enthusiasm for life.To change this habit and to reframe it, be the watcher.Be aware of your thoughts.Separate yourself from your thoughts and observe, that what is going on in your mind.Name that thought.Accept mentally that this thought is not your reality.Say, "I am having thought that I will never get this all".Just say no.Imagine thatyou are putting a negative thought in a deep pit, or in a balloon that flies away.Try the rubber band trick.When stuck in the negative thinking, slowly wear a rubber band on your wrist.This will stop the flow of your negative thoughts.Know your triggers.Almost every negative thought comes from a person, situation, or a physical state.Write those triggers so that you know when they occur.Distract yourself.Use distraction to break the cycle.Engage yourself in a task that requires mental and focus power.Teach your old mind a new trick.Challenge the thought and replace it.remind yourself a positive event or a previous win.
Practice acceptance.Take a deep breath and stop fighting mentally.Ask yourself.Can I do something to improve the situation?Is there anything positive to learn from it?How will I get support after finishing it?Take a mindful action.Do something that uses focus and challenges your mind, so that you can avoid overthinking and worrying.Do things like writing, painting, or drawing, playing a musical instrument, making something with your hands.Set a worry timer.Set a timer of 10 to 15 minutes, and allow yourself to focus on what comes to your mind.Throw them all out.Write your thoughts so that their answers can be found.
2. Decluttering your life obligations.
Rather than understanding what is best for us, most of us just react on what life gives us.There is a simple way to reduce the overload of information.Defining our core values, that depend on time, difficulties and changes.There is a 4 step strategy to define your values.Identify your core values.Look into the list of your value, that are important for your personal and professional life.Write them down.Choose top 5 values from both the columns, and write them on 2 different pages.Now under each value, write all the ways to do it in present life.But also think of specific actions to do these values.Which actions can be done in coming future?Divide them in small and manageable steps.Clarify your life priorities.Priorities show how you spend your time, money, and energy.
Such 7 key life areas are: Career, family, marriage, spirituality, personal growth, social life management, and health.Apart from sleeping, eating, and hygiene, we all have 100 waking hours a week.According to your values, how many hours will you give to each area?Is your real life going different than your ideal life?How you can re-balance it with some specific actions?Focus mindfully on quarterly S.M.A.R.T. goals.Leisure in present and planning of future can be done simultaneously.The key is to enjoy every moment.Also, while making your future, enjoy every step.For this, make quarterly S.M.A.R.T. goals, not year long goals, that distract you from present moment.S.M.A.R.T. goals stands for Specific. Answer 6 questions.Who, what, where, when, which, and why?Measurable. In right time, amount, or units, measuring your progress towards goals.Attainable. Stretching your limits.Going as far as possible.relevant. Do everything in your craze for your real desire.Time bound. Write specific deadlines for your goals.
How convert S.M.A.R.T. goals into actions?Identify what is necessary for you.Focus on 3-4 areas of your life.Focus on 3-monthly goal.Life is changing constantly.Longer goals are often demotivating.Use a weekly review to make a schedule.Considering your priorities and available time, make a daily action plan of your week.Take action on your goals.Make your goal a project.Start with a target date, and then start working backwards.Find out how much time each goal will require, make a schedule to work on the goals.Do your priority goals first in the morning.review your goals everyday.Keep them in your mind.Keep a record of your quarterly goals.Ask yourself, "Have I received desired result?""Which strategy was successful and which was not?""Have I given my 100% to complete these tasks?"
Connect goals to your passions.When you work on what you desire, you feel energized in every part of your life, attract people with alike thinking.Follow the steps given to find out your passion.What you desire in every area of your life, have a vision of it.With the help of online personality assessment, investigate yourself.Start reading about things that interest you.Which training is required, successful people, salary figures, and how much time will be required, keep your thinking limited to these all.Try something by yourself.Work with someone for a few days, or do a part time job.Put some money in savings account so that these transactions can be smooth.Talk to your employer and deal with your current job.Stay motivated by your daily actions.Stay focused towards your big goal.
book summary Declutter your mind
3. Decluttering your relationships.
Our close relations like a romantic partner, friend, family member, and our coworkers also are part of long term happiness of life.A good relation should have, prioritizing the relation, open communication, health conflict discussion, mutual trust, respect, shared interest, emotional and intellectual intimacy, and finally physical touch. These 4 ways help to make and improve your relations, which directly affects your mindset positively.Be more present.Being in present in a relation and less emotionally reactive helps in coming out of stressful situations.For this, practice empathic listening.Step out of your distracting mind, and listen to people's words without judgment.Make them feel safe and understood.Speak mindfully.While speaking, focus properly, and control your urge to react on others' words and actions.Meditate loving kindness.
Focus on having warm feelings for others that deserve love.Stop comparing to others.Accept yourself.Change what you can change, and keep expressing gratitude constantly.Getting unstuck from the past.Many thoughts of past are related to current people in your life.Therefore you identify them with them.To clean the negative thoughts of past, resolve what you can.Share your feelings and pain.Listen to others' point of view.Ask for forgiveness. Forgive, and discuss the future of the relation.Challenge your story.Challenge your point of view.Mindfulness with your partner.Mindfulness isn't about denying or burying your emotions.It's about controlling and accepting your emotions and experiences.
This can strengthen your relation with your partner, also, can reduce the stress of your life.To achieve this, make and communicate the commitment.Talk with your partner about practicing mindfulness everyday.Be emotionally present.Be emotionally open for the pain.Show empathy.And reflect the body language and words of your partner.Listen without defensiveness.Listen actively,without preparing your response and defense.Be aware of your reactive emotions, but don't act on them.Look for lessons within conflict.Let go off certain people.Sometimes goodbye is the only actions that remains for those who hurt your mental and emotional health.Those universal themes that reveal it's time to say goodbye.Verbal, emotional, or physical abuse.Constant dishonesty, disloyalty, or toxicity.Diverging from core value, being questionable.Immaturity, emotional manipulation, irresponsibility.Unresolved or untreated mental health issues.Addictions like drugs, alcohol, sex, gambling, pornography.Not talking, not discussing problems, or not investing in the relation.To remove yourself fro a painful relation, think of positive things of life without this person.What will happen when you don't have to face the issues with this person!Think of saying goodbye.They may try to hurt you, that how can you leave!About your plan, you should talk to your common friends, family, or a therapist.
Define the real meaning of goodbye.What type of communication will you like to keep with them, and how many times?What will you not tolerate from them now?Without blaming, communicate your intentions.Explain in small parts, and focus on your emotions more than their mistakes.Accept that it can be a process.It may hardly be easy or without pain.If this is the only right way for you, then allow yourself to do it slowly.Allow yourself to grieve.If you give pain like a normal letting go process, then it will pass even faster.
4. Decluttering your surroundings.
Our surrounding affect our quality of life.Often we get stuck in mindless tasks, because we only react on what happens in front of us.To empty the space in the mind, simplify your home.Sit for 10 minutes in a day, and within few weeks your home will be be in order.Let go off the past, and also those physical objects that pressurize you.Simplify your digital life.Pay attention on your digital activities throughout the day.Where and how you can start cutting back.Give time to declutter your email inbox, desktop icons, and to arrange your files and documents.Simplify your activities.Busyness clutters your mind.Accept the less can also be more.To declutter your schedule, prioritize daily tasks, rather than trying to do all of them.Make commitments without serious loss.Alternatively delegate, delay them, and reduce them.
Focus on 3 important goals of everyday,
But with more intention, time, and focus.Take time to not do anything.Be calm, and don't do anything.Leave the work on time.Reduce your habit to do overtime.Spend a day in a week or a weekend without any internet connection.Work on a challenge or a skill and harness the power of focus.Simplify your distractions.Distractions steal our time and motivation, and grab us in anxiety to do more.Before sleeping and after waking up, first of all decide 3 most important tasks of your day, and ask why they are important.Divide every task into smaller tasks, and find out how much time they will take.Schedule these tasks in the most productive part of your day, so that you receive maximum output.Before sitting for work, you should have everything, coffee, water, snacks, an organized desk.Work without interruptions.Turn off your phone and notifications, and put "Do not disturb" sign on the door.Set a timer of 25 minutes and start working with full focus.When the timer is over, give yourself a small break.
Don't do anything then that may distract you, such as calls, emails.In between your 3 most important tasks, take long 15 to 20 minutes' breaks.Exercise, meditate, and have non-stress talks in that.Do mindless tasks such as easy paperwork, organizing, in the least productive time of your day.Simplify your actions.For being in present even during the most difficult tasks and being aware, follow the given steps.Eat meals. Taste the food, with proper digestion and nutrients.Clean your house.Focus on doing it, not getting it done by someone else.Walk. Pay attention on the way and let the walking be the destination.Experience nature.Focus on your surroundings with all of your senses.Exercise. Focus on your body, posture, and discomfort.So friends,your mind is the base of all your experiences.Train it everyday.Deep breathing and meditation can help in detaching from intrusive thoughts and emotions.To take the charge in your hands and control the power of thoughts, challenge them, interrupt them, and reframe them.Set goals on the basis of priorities and core values, so that you can stay energized.Be mindful and stay in present in your relations, so that many conflicts and stress can be avoided.keep your home and digital world so as to keep distractions away, that pull you away from your values, priorities, and goals.
Thank you friends.
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